The Turning Point

This is a brief recount of my newfound faith. I know some of you keeping up with my blog might be interested so here it goes:

As a Catholic, I have always believed in God. I believed He existed and I believed that there must be some kind of greater power at work. However, I never knew what this meant or how to apply it. If anyone ever asked, yes, I believe in God. I am Catholic, right? However, only recently have I really learned what this meant.

As a child, I was never forced to go to church, and honestly I was never that interested. Sure, I knew certain stories from the Bible, and I had a somewhat broad overview of my religion. At one point in my sophomore year of high school, I started taking private bible study classes at home, feeling embarrassed for not knowing what everyone else seemingly “naturally” knew about the bible, God, and Christianity in general. From there I decided I wanted to make God a part of my life, but how?

To me, religion was always something very private; I never felt comfortable talking about it. I felt embarrassed about my ignorance, but I understood the basic gist of what being a good Christian meant, and I would occasionally pray. So, how could I, with no background, feel a strong connection with God? This was when my search for God began. I took Bible study classes and I applied to a Jesuit college, hoping to find God in a religiously affiliated institution. There, I took theology and philosophy courses, which were required but I really enjoyed. Yet none of these things helped me feel more connected. Why was my search not working? I certainly gained a little knowledge, but I felt that in order to really find God, I should feel some kind of passion within me. Shouldn’t I? It was no longer enough for me to believe for the sake of believing.

Finally I came to Rome—the Catholic hub of the world. As a student who would be spending an entire semester in a country with a foreign language, and had never been away and alone from home for more than a month, my search for God took a small pause. It remained in the back of my mind while I visited the cathedrals and churches, but I was mostly there to appreciate the art. Then, something unexpected happened: I was invited to lunch.

An old friend who lives in Rome invited me to lunch with, whom she likes to call, her second family. I met the lady of the house, Jane, her husband, Peppo, and their eleven-year-old daughter. I immediately felt so welcome and comfortable in a way I rarely felt at a stranger’s home. I learned that this family has a strong Christian faith, conducting bible studies at their house, and that Peppo, who was once an actor is now a missionary. We had lunch, jumped on their trampoline, talked, and watched a movie. Through this amazing family I learned that everything is possible through God. As we left their home to commute back to our own homes, I felt something I had never felt before—I felt a rush of happiness, appreciation, thankfulness, love, and the sudden urge to cry. I realized at that moment that I had finally found God. What was a fun and simple afternoon turned into a most unexpected and wonderful realization, confirming my view that everything happens for a reason. I searched for God in bible studies, I searched for God in a catholic university, I searched for Him in cathedrals and churches, but I finally found Him in people.

I did not have big plans for this summer. I originally planned to work as much as possible in order to recoup the money I am spending during my study abroad. However, I am now interested in applying for a two-week Erasmus summer program. It "is designed to introduce its participants to major contemporary trends in disciplines in both the humanities and social sciences"* with a Christian undertone. I immediately knew this was something I wanted to participate in. I believe that this program will help me expand and grow upon my newfound faith. As an advertising major, I also feel that the program can teach me how I can apply what I learn to my career. I look forward to discussing the “big, even ultimate questions” with a group, no longer feeling embarrassed, and now more willing and prepared to make my faith a little more public.

*http://www.nd.edu/~erasmus/summer_programs/index.html

--so this is actually the personal statement I wrote for the essay question asking why I wanted to be in the program. All of it is word for word except the explanation about the program. Do you think this was a good answer?--

Anyways, I got back from Milan Monday afternoon and I know you guys are anxiously awaiting a post about that...sorry you'll have to wait a little longer! I need to eat before my next class.